Thursday, October 15, 2009
Halloween Blahs
I am writing this to say I am really not happy with myself . Here it is, my most favorite month, my most favorite time of the year, and I have the Halloween blahs. I am not enjoying myself either. I have the house decorated, I have the food bought for the party, but I am just not in my ususal Halloween spirit. I have not been since all the emotional baggage started with Tim. Once the shock wore off I believe the stress of my life and all it's ups and downs that fall totally on my shoulders has worn me down to where I don't have much joy in my life. My two greatest "joys" have been my son and creating Halloween haunts. Jacob is still my only bright light, but with him having cp and all that goes with it, that light dims at times with worry and stress. But for some reason, try as I might, I can't pull the love and creativity of past Halloween's. So this year I am taking a break, no elaborate haunts, no elaborate prop making, just food and my family and a few friends. I hope to leave this burn-out behind and maybe next year become once again, "The Queen of Halloween," like everyone calls me. We will see....
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2 comments:
Sorry you're in a funk. I've found myself being up and down the last two Halloween seasons, and there is a certain sting when you can't get excited about a passion.
I hope you can find something - something simple - that helps rekindle the fire.
Well you know me. I was right there with you the whole way with the same issues. At the same time for some reason. It isn't easy to shake the dread and it is going to take time. And you are not done with the greving part as my councilor says. But mark my words for someone who has done the same thing. It gets better and you must keep telling yourself that every day. Take this time to make Kelly better and take baby steps. One day you won't feel smothered any more. That is when you know you can move on. Because you and your boy deserve it.
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